Jerry's Concerns

Last night, I again had the intensely terrifying pleasure of working with the very in famous and very classy person we'll call Jerry. Jerry is a very old seasoned, well-experienced nurse who is ridiculously picky with very specific tastes and a tendency to harass everybody err on the side of perfection in his leadership style.

As soon as he walked back from triage nearing the end of a very busy day, he unloaded all of his commentary and advice that he'd been bottling in his bottling factory. I immediately started scribbling to record his concerns for the benefit of fellow staff members:

Jerry's Concerns

August 23rd, 2017

6-7:00pm

1. The candy is junk. Who put all this junk candy in [the community candy drawer]? Why does nobody ever fill this candy drawer except for Jerry? 

2. There are misspelled words in the rolladex (sp?). Specifically, "psychiatrist" is spelled "physiotrist." He says it was probably LaQuita. 

3. These pencils [here in the department] are all wrong. 

4. The staff schedule has catastrophic errors. 

5. Dr. Okasinski is slob and doesn't wear any socks and that's gross. 

6. Everyone else is hateful. 

7. This drawer is dangerous. 

8. Jerry's name is too far down the schedule; it should be listed alphabetically by last name. 

9. LaQuita is too bossy when she's in charge (LaQuita is not even here today). 

10. Jerry is scheduled to be charge nurse three times this month. 

11. Nobody thinks he does anything around here. 

12. 15-minute detailed schedule problems verbalization, too many issues to count. 

13. Items 1-6 actually occurred between 6:00-6:03pm. 

14. Jerry insists that the previous statement is incorrect; it was between 6:00-6:05pm. 

The list is now posted at the nurse's station. Jerry appreciated it enormously.