Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Night after Snow

        This poem actually has three different themes to it. Sorry it is so vague, it seems like that is the only way I can organize my thoughts.




Inspiration retires with the black and white
In the cold and frostless dark.
Of the wind in the screens and afflictive dreams
A tale is torn apart.

Stars will appear, indifferent but near,
With their rogues spinning freely down.
Shadows rewind with the passage of time
As the moon curves its path through the sky.

The seeping freeze claws an entrance within,
Pricking privacy’s comfort apart.
A sigh steals the silence and takes it to heaven
The chair frees its company and cools.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Let it begin! Let it begin!

The Air Force will be stationing my family and me in Mountain Home, Idaho, our first choice! We’ll be living right by the mountains and the Snake River, in a small town of a few thousand people, and we are SO EXCITED! I think this video sums it up for me:


Saturday, December 5, 2009

After My Morning: Colorado Coalition for the Homeless



Metal turned to ice during the night, creaking open with a loud crack as I pulled on my truck’s door handle. An eighth of an inch of frozen dew coated every window, its translucency vague as light particles wiggled through the multiple layers of uneven ice. At -3 degrees Farenheit and a windchill of -12, this was a morning on which I shouldn’t have been running late; after several turns, the truck awoke with a slow, groggy rumble and exhaust sputtered from the pipe.

The ice resisted my removal efforts, and subsequent pitchers of water seemed to freeze again and again on a windshield now as much ice as glass. Finally, fast-acting windshield wipers helped the water from the pitcher slide off before crystallizing, and I was ready to go. With both windows rolled down for visibility to my right and my left, 4-wheel drive kicked in as I drove down our white lane toward the freeway entrance.

The drive to Catholic Charities was as cold, or maybe even colder, than it sounds. My hood and driving gloves were all that saved me from turning into a living ice sculpture, but the hurry was justified when my cohort and I arrived downtown with only a minute or two to spare.

Over 16,000 people experience homelessness on the narrow streets, bridges, and trails of Denver, Colorado. For some of them, alcohol and drugs are both the rescue and the curse; for others, rejection, mental illness, and past histories prevent them from being able to function past the cobblestones and the shelters. It is with this population I have been working over the past month, through the Colorado Coalition for the Homeless.

Colorado Coalition for the Homeless is the first-step organization that helps homelessness find a cure. Case managers essentially become the lifeblood for men and women who are ready to be housed again, who need medical or psychological treatment, or who are unable to perform simple tasks of life by themselves. One of those case managers, a marriage and family therapist with over 20 years of experience, describes her group of homeless as being “for the first time, probably in their entire lives…..being looked at in their eyes by someone else recognizing that they, too, are human beings.” Years pile into the eyes of many of these formerly homeless individuals, testifying of thousands of days of abuse, neglect, and physical or emotional violence that eventually turned into self-abuse, self-neglect, and emotional self-destruction.

Seventeen thousand dollars a year will house a homeless person and provide him or her with a case manager. Otherwise, a city will spend over $100,000 per year housing a homeless person through ERs, jails, and other areas. The famous Million-dollar Murray of Las Vegas was the inspiration needed to begin real programs to help the homelessness at the root of the condition: housing. Though perhaps to our shame, homelessness is only addressed at a systems level after years of exorbitant costs flooding our current system.

At the coalition, small victories are the ones celebrated by a cohesive team of charitable workers. When the situation of a client improves enough for the person to live independently, they are graduated from the program. If the person never graduates from the program, that is okay too. Though alcoholism is still rampant, few of these formerly chronically homeless individuals still use drugs, and most are working harder than you or I would understand to improve their life situations.

The past four weeks were a good experience for me. At first, I did not really understand how a person could work long-term with a population that seemingly did not want or use the help being offered to them; when I inquired of the workers, they all expressed sentiment. One said “I have waited my entire life to find this type of job; now, I will never go back.” Another stated “I have to be creative with each person. Normally, we use tools to complete our work; in this business, we are the tools. The small victories are what we look for, everything from a person holding a job and paying his rent on time to another not inflicting violence on those around her.” Though frustration, hardship, and sometimes illness are simply a part of their vocations, the case managers are all upbeat and seem completely nonjudgmental of those around them.

This morning, I prayed that I would never forget these homeless people with whom I have worked over the past month. I hope I will never walk along the sidewalk and pass a homeless man sleeping on the ground without making sure he is still alive. I hope I will always feel the need that these people have of being respected, of being understood, and of being viewed as children of God. Too often, we determine the worth of those around us by the choices they have made; instead, perhaps we should focus on determining our own worth, and realizing that in our imperfect circumstances God has deigned to caress our lives with the care and love of eternity. Can we not remember the worth of souls, of bodies and spirits united together?
Mosiah 4:17-21, The Book of Mormon

17. Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—
18 But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.
19 For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?
20 And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on his name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy.
21 And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.