My Son Will Be A Con-Man

My son has figured us out. Instead of saying, “No” when I tell him to do something, he says “Not yet.” Instead of admitting to Mommy that he drank all of the Diet Dr. Pepper in her cup, he says “Daddy took it.” Instead of sitting obediently with his back to the wall during timeouts, he says “Can I have a hug?” and does it in such a way that I can barely stand it if I don’t walk over and ruin his disciplinary moment with a hug and conversation about how wonderful he is.

I’m raising a manipulator, the type that is going to be a great success on and off the playing fields of life by charming or talking his way into everything good and out of everything bad.

Actually, I’m kinda proud of him. How many two-year olds seem to fully grasp the concept of avoiding conflict or punishment through passing the buck or re-focusing the attention? Don’t spoil it, I would like to think my little mischief-maker is extra-special.

Meanwhile, I have to figure out how to thwart him today. 

March 31st Post

There’s something inexplicably therapeutic about watching that black line move smoothly underneath you as you’re swimming a lap; maybe it’s just the satisfaction of knowing that you have your face in the water and have finally managed to coordinate breathing with large movements.

Anyway, that therapeutic feeling was replaced this morning with a weak left shoulder and a relatively large amount of unnecessary gasping. I finally realized that today just wasn’t the best day for swimming; I pulled myself out, feeling like I was supposed to apologize to the lifeguard for tricking him into thinking that I was actually going to get an effective workout today.

Since then, I’ve been  at the hospital where I am precepting a new nurse who is doing all of the work, leaving me with worrying about more important things in life such as stalking old friends on Facebook (you know, the kind that I want to know what they’re up to but have no intention of ever establishing communication with) or calling my wife to offer moral support after Braeden managed to practically flood the kitchen (he had a hayday with the refrigerator water dispenser for about ten minutes).

So, here’s to another productive day! I think Steph might be here now….she’s bringing me Taco Bell food….

Just FYI, kayaking in a lake is much more exhausting than it appears. You remember that paddler who effortlessly glides along in the movies at a clip that could outpace a fish? It’s fake. In reality, there’s a red-faced, stocky guy wearing an 8-mm wetsuit; the water’s way too cold for him to actually get wet (the wetsuit is supposed to save his life if he was to capsize, then lose the boat, then lose his life vest, then suddenly become incapable of swimming for more than the 5 minutes it would take to get to shore). Anyway, so this red-faced guy is heaving along, sweating bullets, trying to make sure that his fishing pole hasn’t suddenly freed itself from the fishing-pole-holder in the back of the 12-foot fishing kayak. The lake is a whole lot longer than it appeared from the cliffs, so that easy four-mile route that he’d planned on having done within an hour has suddenly become TWO hours, mostly due to the fact that enormous fish keep jumping clear out of the water next to him, distracting him. Consequently, he can’t seem to paddle in a very straight line.

At least he caught a fish (by the tail, incidentally, not because it actually bit anything), the biggest one he’s ever even seen in a lake in real life. Unfortunately, he dropped the dang thing literally as he was putting it in the boat, and flopped back into the water, breaking the hook off in the process. That’s okay, it was a carp anyway so I’m not sure how exciting it would have been to eat in the first place.

Well, of course I am that stocky guy , and that was my adventure on Friday. It was actually a blast, and I can hardly wait to tackle the river/lake again; this time, however, I think I will put in closer than two miles from the place where I want to start fishing, since it’s obviously no silly jaunt to get that far.

I’m into month #2 of my triathlon training, so it’s going to be getting a lot more intense soon! I am feeling good about it, though, and I think that it will be a good month to start losing some of this extra poundage that I’ve packed on over the holidays. I haven’t lost any yet, probably more due to the fact that (1) I can’t seem to eat less and (2) I think I must be building some muscle mass with all this exercise. Mostly #1, though.

Conference was awesome, as usual. I really miss those times as a kid/college student/missionary when I would listen to General Conference and be like, “That is awesome counsel for someday if I ever need that type of counsel.” Nowadays, it’s more like every talk addresses something that I need to be fixing in my life! But that’s ok, I love listening to the talks and feeling so uplifted by all of the messages. I commented to Stephanie the other day that there are so many people in the world who seem to bring out the worst, it is wonderful to be with or influenced by people who when they talk make you want to be a better person. 

Moustache March Madness finally came to an end, for me anyway. My prolonged stint of shaving-strike culminated with BYU’s loss to the Gators, and the next day I surprised my wife on her birthday by removing the terrible-looking growth on my face. I don’t regret it, obviously.

Braeden and I are in the process of finishing our deck in the backyard. My two-year-old is getting pretty adept at handing me screws; instead of intently watching my every move (with me reiterating that he get his head out of the way so I can drill), he now plays facing the opposite direction. When I say “screw, please!” he says “Got it!” and hands it to me from over his head, not even bothering to look. It’s hilarious.

I am training for an Olympic triathlon (1500 m swim, 40km bike, 10km run) for the end of June. I’m several weeks into my program and it’s pretty intense; I suffered my first injury (turned my ankle GETTING OUT OF THE CAR) yesterday, but hopefully in a couple of days I will feel good enough to run on it again. That’s ok, I need to focus a little more on the swimming anyway! The workouts are totaling about five to six hours a week so far, and will gradually increase over the next three months. It’s definitely the most intense and consistent working out that I have ever done!

I can’t wait for the warmer weather. I’m got plans to take Braeden and Steph camping (probably just Braeden a few times, too, to give his mommy a break); kayaking always will make the list, along with fishing; we are going to take a lot of exploratory drives, too, since Steph will be pregnant until September! I hope to start taking pictures again, too.

I just got a calling as the Young Men’s Secretary (assistant scoutmaster), which I am really excited about! I’ll have to figure out exactly what that entails, but either way I am stoked to finally have a calling again. Work is not taking up as much time as last year since we have more staffing so I’m not on call every week any more, and I am enjoying it more as I get to know my job better and accept new challenges such as precepting some of the new nurses that are coming on. I’m still banking on being able to switch to the UCC/ED soon, but it’s pretty sketchy trying to figure out when or if that is going to happen.

We find out in two weeks what we’re having! It’s good to know all of the OB docs so well (I work with them every day), even if all of them are good so I’m not concerned about who will be delivering our baby. We’re trying to get some vacation time in before the baby comes, but it’s not looking very promising yet. Mountain Home is a great place, though, and my schedule lets us have a few days off at a time so we get to spend some good time together!

Well, I know that this is a boring post, but I’ve had a really hard time lately trying to figure out what to write. Maybe if I start writing more often, I’ll start at least entertaining myself again (you know it’s bad when you bore yourself with what you write, haha!).

Sun's Out!

The sun came out today, scattering the fragments of a very long, drab spell that had locked up our little town of Mountain Home, Idaho.  The constant drizzle and dampness has been a stark contrast to the unending sunshine and dryness of last summer; it seems that this area experiences a seasonal split personality that tricks the resident into believing that the current state of the weather will never change.

                Well, with the sunlight finally breaking through the clouds I have decided that it is time for at least a small entry on this blog. Whoever reads this hasn’t really missed a whole lot, since most of the past six months has been swallowed up under the ravenous appetite of that two-headed monster, night shift work and sleep.

                We bought a house, an uncomplicated Idaho-style single story home with three bedrooms, a large kitchen, and beautiful family and living rooms.  So far, it has been our favorite part of living in Mtn. Home. We are so excited for the warmer weather to arrive and allow us to complete some of the fun projects around the house!

                I have been grappling with the prospect of possibly starting school again. I have applied to the Idaho State University’s grad program to start my Master’s of Science as a Family Nursing Practitioner. If I get in, I would start in May. We have yet to really get the spiritual go-ahead, but I am just moving forward in the best direction that I can figure out right now.

                Stephanie is as beautiful as ever, and has been a real support to me while I have stressed over my job and grown more accustomed to military life. She wears multiple mother/wife hats as entertainer, dancer, Thomas the Train fanatic, chef, babysitter, reluctant disciplinarian, diet advocate, and family glue. Braeden is the recipient of most of these things (she doesn’t feel very reluctant when disciplining me, for example, and it would shatter Braeden’s world if he learned the truth about how we really don’t care all that much for Thomas the Train).

                I have a remote-controlled helicopter that I got from my mom for Christmas. In danger of sounding like an eight-year-old, I will admit that I play with it on a daily basis and sometimes dream about owning more of them (bigger, very expensive ones of course!).

                Well, my eyelids are beginning to twitch as my cerebral lights commence their nightly automatic shut-off. It is 2 a.m. and I must change gears in order to find an activity that will maintain some semblance of wakefulness throughout the rest of my shift.  Apparently, I am still unable to feel normal at this time, even after working night shift for six months.