I Can Only Imagine

Some seconds are longer than others. The moments slow, the alarms stretched. I breathe it all in, my eyes slowly scanning the tumble of equipment, monitors, tubes, lines, and materials draped around my patient. The ventilator alarms incessantly, screaming that the patient is dying. He’s already proned. His settings are already as high pressure as we can go without blowing out his lungs, with 100% supplemental oxygen. A dialysis machine runs in the background, circulating blood through thick red dialysis catheters but not able to remove the literal gallons of extra fluid that crowd his tissues. An assortment of intravenous drips crowd steel poles: insulin, sodium bicarb, vasopressin, norepinephrine, cisatracurium, fentanyl, propofol, sodium chloride, antibiotics, albumin, tube feeds. And the ventilator screams. Oxygen levels aren’t supposed to be this low, in the 70’s. They’re supposed to come back up. The family called. Just two weeks ago, they were laughing with their loved one. He was living a normal life, not knowing that he only had a matter of days before everything would spiral. The family tells us they believe in miracles, and they ask us to be heroes for him. They request azithromycin and hydroxychloroquine; they want ivermectin. They pray with me on the phone. They want to visit, but they tell me they aren’t vaccinated. The daughter asks me to play Christian music for him. I tell her I will do so, but deep down I am already scrambling to end the call as alarms arise from my other three patients’ rooms. All four of these patients are hypotensive today. All four are critical. All four will likely die. And I can barely move from room to room in time to respond to each moment, no matter how long the moment stretches. I forget the request for music to play in his room. I’m too harried, too occupied, too beat from the turbulent day, this hurricane of sickness drowning both nurses and patients. At three A.M., I wake and remember. Ironically, the patient is coding in the hospital while I’m awake thinking of the Christian music. So today, this song is dedicated to him. I hope someone hears it and remembers to thank the nurse who gives them that tiny injection; they might just be saving your life. I can only imagine, as I scan the room. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_lrrq_opng

I GUESS THIS IS RIDDLE COUNTRY

SPRING BREAK: I GUESS THIS IS RIDDLE COUNTRY

I took Braeden on a much overdue camping trip with just the two of us. We built a very redneck covering for the end of our trailer, dubbing our camp “Wilty Grey” for the weekend.

Like all extremely cool fathers, I force him to make riddles with me throughout the trip. Don’t let him fool you though, he actually loved that part.

We saw a bunch of fresh bear and cougar tracks on a remote hike, and found the largest newt and frog populations we've ever seen. It’s possible that Braeden beat me in our competition to each count the most newts (don’t remind him though, I can’t remember what the prize was now and I don’t want to owe him forever).

When we got home, I took everybody on a couple of forced marches on the coast. I'm sure they secretly enjoyed those hikes despite pretending and loudly proclaiming every few minutes that it was too windy, cold, and exhausting and that it did not qualify as "fun"...

 

Ben’s Riddles

One by one, filing by….We’re in the road and in the sky.

You can cut me—without a knife;

You write above me, all your life.

What am I?

senil

I sound like a dog yet have no voice.

I’m friends with the moss yet am not moist.

I encircle and climb, I’m rough and I’m fine.

What am I?

krab

I’m big and I’m red, at the level of your head. My twists let a book be read.

What am I?

eugnot

I move a herd of cattle, or I’m a Sunday afternoon.

You’ll see me on a golf course, and sixteen’s just too soon.

It’s how they make you crazy and describes the pouring rain;

It’s that something-else inside you that makes you bear the pain.

What am I?

enivird/evird

I’m a way to get some exercise, but also cop a feel.

I make you feel like singing but can turn your friend 3^rd wheel.

The elders always disapprove, but they can’t do it anyway, so what am I and when have I made your life so merry?

gnicnad

I am there when it’s pried from your dead hands.

In years gone by, I controlled every people and land.

I’m in the heart of a monster and the depths of the ocean, and as the day ends I creep a little bit closer.

What am I?

dloc

I’m the punishment of ages, the quickest of them all.

I’m barely still connected by a thread so small.

I’m with your teenage children when their friends are staying over,

and I’m what never happens up since the advent of the cell phone.

What am I?

gnignah

Braeden’s Riddles

 

When you control me, I control you. I control beings, and what they say and do. I am found in the stores here and there, but most likely I’m everywhere. I come in different shapes and sizes, all different types but I’m always there when families are together.

noisivelet

I glimmer in the sun. I glow in the dark. I’m transparent as if I’m not there. I’m valuable in ways I can’t say. I’m found very rarely day by day.

 

I am part of the past, here and there, but I’m studied everywhere. I’m in the classroom every day, that is just what they say. What am I?

Proof that My Children Respect Me: Text Messages with Stephanie

Steph: Good thing I didn’t go to church. Temp is 99.4.

Ben: Told ya.

Steph: I know you did!

Ben: Someday you will listen to me. You will call me Genius Ben and make me customized enchiladas every day. It will be glorious for me.

Ben: Emerson is reading over my shoulder like a serial killer.

Steph: Hi Emerson

Ben: He says he feels fortunate to have such an incredibly powerful and stable genius father.

Steph: Ohhhhhh right

Ben: He also is hoping that he will someday be as breathtakingly handsome as his father is. He also says I smell nice and he can completely understand why you married me because I’m a “catch.” According to Emerson. He said all those things. Exactly.

Ben: Braeden says he is going to get rich and buy me a Lamborghini someday.