Wander. Explore. Discover.

A summary of the past week for me:

The sadness of watching a good friend walk away after saying goodbye in a parking garage, my throat threatening to close at the thought of never seeing them again.
The blankness I feel as I press the exit button to leave a workplace that had become something of a second home, full of people I love who sometimes drive me crazy but are always there.
Watching a formation march as its young members begin a journey at the same place in which mine ends.
The heaviness of the words in my mouth as I finally share with Stephanie my illogical, spiraled feelings of guilt, panic, pain, and anger that have cursed me at the most random moments of the day since March of 2014.
The wonder of seeing bales of cotton for the first time.
Frustration of a delay accessing a base.
Clumsiness attempting to sleep in a makeshift bed in the top of a cargo trailer.
Curiosity of how rows of green glass bottles were deposited, neck-first, in the miles of sand a hundred miles west of Salt Lake City.
Doubting the decision to push forward in a snowstorm.
Fear as my vision is robbed by thick, driving snow that threatens to push my truck and trailer to the side of the road.
Awe of the nighttime eruption of billowing clouds above a towering mountain that seems to scrape the tapestry that is millions of stars in a cold, western sky.
Confidence in preparation while placing extra tanks of gas in the pickup bed prior to embarking on hundreds of miles of undeveloped area.
Excitement when seeing a hot spring shooting steam into the sky at the top of a mountain plateau.
Gut-wrenching worry as that confidence is shattered by road closure, snow warning signs seen too far into the journey to turn back.
Sage advice from Dad.
Elation after surviving a hundred miles of icy mountain roads.
Surprise of discovering I've been driving with a flat trailer tire for potentially up to an hour.
Relief when said tire is easily changed.
Irrepressible smiling as my eyes are brought up constantly by giant trees that line the corridor of snow banks piled higher than a man, knowing that there are some things in my new life that I love already, things that represent peace of mind and wholeness of soul.
Closing the distance between me and my parents with a cell phone.
Thrilling sights that result in me constantly flashing photographs of landscapes through a spotty windshield.
Satisfaction at the spicy, greasy chicken tenders from KFC.
Gratitude from a friend for helping with a school assignment.
Apprehension of arriving to a new place.
Longing from a video of my Ellie-babes waving to me from Utah.
Laughter of a message about Emerson and Braeden shooting Lego lasers at Pa-Caw.
Love for my Stephanie, Braeden, Emerson, and Eliana. I miss you already!