Twilight Perspective

Today I read a disturbing article in the Daily Universe entitled “'Twilight'” is Pornography.” He said, “The Twilight novels are pornography. Though pornography is seen as a male problem, explicit pictures and romance novels create a quick and fabricated experience of a romantic relationship. For men, pornography creates unrealistic expectations for their girlfriends/wives bodies. For women, it creates unrealistic romantic expectations for their boyfriends'/husbands' actions.”

Well. I am just amazed at the ignorant gall of whoever wrote that message. To compare an innocent, creative and exciting fantasy novel about good-hearted werewolves and vampires-turned-moral to the disgusting pornographic images depicting women as objects to be consumed in sexual lust is absolutely absurd. I am a male, and with my wife have read all three of the “Twilight” saga so far. I have a lot of fun joking around with my guy friends about that fact, but I always admit that the books are extremely well-written. Meyers, though still a new author, seems to have mastered the art of creating true people, with personalities comprised of more than mere characteristics. She has brought reason, fiction, love, hate, and the confusing maturation of a teenage girl into a novel which hooks its readers because, deep down, we can all identify somewhat with the fantastical characters in the book. Let's face it, Twilight Protester, Meyers is not at BYU anymore. She is not morally, ethically, religiously, or legally bound to have her characters keep the Honor Code by having Edward leave Bella's room after 11 pm (and yes, I know that he wouldn't have been allowed there in the first place). Sure, we all know that she is sexually attracted to Edward, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There isn't even anything wrong with her trying to convince him to have sex with her, either, because the cold hard facts of the book are that Edward, in his wisdom of 100 + years, respects her too much to allow that to happen before they are legally married. Meyers is literally writing that people who know what they are doing (like Edward) know how to control their physical desires until the moment is right.

Frankly, I get tired of these people who believe that God is some conservative who thinks that all expression of human emotion is evil and corrupt. Meyers has effectively captured that emotion, and I am grateful to have an author who can enthrall her readers and help so many Americans and people across the world delve into the satisfying excitement of modern literature. To the accuser, try opening that mind of yours before it petrifies from lack of original thought.

Denver and the Jamaican Cowboy

Well, I won the bet. We are expecting a boy! Friday was a pretty exciting day for Stephanie and me. Around two o'clock, we had the ultrasound performed; it was a very special experience for us, and I suddenly found myself much more excited to be a dad. It really puts things into perspective, knowing that my son will watch the way I live my life and perhaps try to pattern his behavior after mine. Ever since the ultrasound, I have been planning camping, canoing, and other high adventure stuff that we can do together someday.

We drove to Denver after the ultrasound. To tell the truth, I hadn't realized just how far away Denver really was, and we ended up arriving to downtown Denver at 12:30 AM. We stopped at several hotels, but to tell the truth they all reeked of tobacco and looked like something out of a horror movie. Driving along the streets, we were a little alarmed to see how many drunk Mexicans that staggered along the sidewalks, not to mention the fact that all the houses and businesses had barred windows and doors. We finally found a Motel 6, but ended up asking for our money back after the electricity didn't work, the bathroom was dirty, and there was hair in our bed. We eventually made it to a Days Inn, where the lady offered to give us a room for thirty dollars off the original price of $90. We took it.

A Latino stood outside his door and greeted us with a drunken sentence as we climbed the filthy stairs toward the door of our room. He persisted a moment, and I spoke to him in Spanish. He offered us some beer and cigarettes, but I told him we were a little busy. He wanted to help, so I told him to go search on the opposite side of the hotel while we searched around there. He took off running, eager as a drunk man could be for finding a room number. Stephanie was scared out of her mind, because the intoxicated man was having trouble with his depth perception and kept leaning in a little too close for comfort, but eventually I was able to convince him to return to his room.

It wasn't the warmest welcome Stephanie had imagined. We didn't know that we had accidentally entered one of the poorest sections of Denver, and Stephanie just kept saying “This is why my parents have always lived in Utah! I miss Mormons!” I laughed until I was almost crying, it was so funny to watch her reaction to the drunkard. I thought he was hilarious, but perhaps it is because I am so used to speaking in Spanish to the borrachos de Ecuador.

Frankly, our visit was probably one of the worst little vacations we'd ever been on, although I am very excited to begin a new life in a place which will provide us with opportunities to grow and learn. I loved how there were several lakes within a radius of just a few miles of where we will be living.

Yesterday, we (the Carr family and us) called 911 on a guy who was acting very suspicious. He looked like a (as Josh put it) Jamaican cowboy crazy man, and was scoping out the area before hastily jumping into a jeep and driving off. He was wearing white gloves and opened the door without a key, so I ran down far enough to get the license plate number (okay, so I was off one letter....M's look like H's from a distance). It made us pretty popular in the park for a while after that; the cops came and the excitement drew other couples in from all parts of the park. The cops eventually figured out that the Jamaican cowboy was this crazy dude they've dealt with on a million different occasions, and they went over to his house. Apparently, he carries a gun, believes listerine to cure herpes (he's dumped it all over his head on a couple of occasions in the middle of department stores), has lead police on slow-speed, forced-stop chases through Provo and Orem, and lots of other stuff. The cop managed to drop the name of the street the guy lived on, so we all drove through there after leaving the park. After annoying just about every driver on the road with our slow, erratic driving, I told Josh to stop because I had seen the back of a gray jeep. It was him, and we drove into the parking lot to check it out.

It was a fun weekend.

Pieces of Perception

Lately I have pondered how my marriage has changed me life. Stephanie seems to be very quickly filling a void which took years to be carved in my soul. When we go for walks (usually to the duck pond), I love how she always curls her hand in mine and talks to the birds, asking them funny questions as well as mimicking their cackles and chirps. I have to hand it to her, she does a better quack than I thought people were capable of doing.

It is so interesting to me to observe how two people, so alike in many ways, have different tactics in personal expression. When we first got married, I felt somewhat like an ice cube. My life had been frozen for a long time, so packed with activities, goals and friends that I had lost the flow of my life. The first part of our marriage (even though we've only been married for about seven months) was a little difficult for me; it was as though I had been outside for a very long time in a heavy snowstorm, and my limbs hurt as I tried to gradually warm up to being at home. I had spent so many years trying to fill up my life so that I could avoid being home that I really had forgotten what it was like to organize my time so that I could be home more.

Every day I realize how lucky we are; we have been so comfortable with each other since the first day we went out, that now when we go through the changes of preparing for our baby in November we feel that it is the right thing for us. Stephanie has given me a completely different perspective on having a baby: instead of viewing it as something that will take away from our lives (concerning finances, time, etc), Stephanie views it as an improvement. Though it is true that our current roles will change, the baby will make it so more special when we are able to do things with each other. I am still figuring out how I will be able to be a dad, but I do know that having a baby will give us countless opportunities to show our unselfishness towards each other. I'm sure Stephanie will be wonderful in a lot of ways, having already half-raised her six younger sisters, and I am sure that I will be able to learn a lot from her, but I can't help but wonder if I am the only guy who isn't sure how good of a dad he will be to his little kid. My nephews and nieces come to visit, and though I love to see them I usually find myself at a loss as to what to do with them after only a few minutes. I have started making lists of fun, interactive things I will be able to do with our baby, because that will help me during the moments when Stephanie goes somewhere and leaves us to ourselves. I think I will be pretty nervous, and that the baby and I will probably observe each other for a while trying to comprehend who the other one is. I am excited for the experience, actually, and plan on teaching it some pretty cool stuff (I think I'll just give him or her lectures on microbiology for the first little bit of life, because I'm not sure what else I would say). Heck, I bet this little baby will be a wonderful study-buddy! I mean, nobody really wants to listen to a review on the function of phosphoglyceraldehyde in photosynthesis, but perhaps the little baby won't know the difference! To tell the truth, that kind of makes me excited....I saw a little newborn in a music video yesterday, and can't wait until it's our baby who is squirming in my arms trying to escape another lesson on macrolides.

Trap of Apathy

Have you ever seen a minnow trap? The two ends are shaped like funnels, narrowing down to a jagged end. The minnows enter the wide end and swim into the trap, unable to escape because they cannot find the tiny opening through which they entered. Really, our minds aren't terribly different from that of the minnow, except instead of being contained by steel mesh we are constantly finding ourselves trapped in our own ignorance. We take an illusion of knowledge and follow its intertwining wires until we are so far along that we aren't sure how to get out. Instead of escaping, we are trapped in the cage of apathy, and can only justify our utter ignorance by saying “I don't care” instead of “I did this to myself.”

There was a time when I attempted to teach a woman in Ecuador how to easily and economically purify her water by adding a tiny amount of bleach. Standing on the gray cobblestones of a steep street lined with cement buildings, we asked her if she would begin to purify her water. She put down her cigarette, puffed out her chest, and boasted to us that she never would never purify her water. I reminded her of the terrible implications of certain parasites commonly found in the drinking water, and she nodded her head and said “I know, I had a son who died from parasites when he was a teenager.” She never did agree to purify her water, and I could see that there was nothing so solid as pride in one's ignorance. She simply did not care, which meant that she was not accountable for change.

Jimmy Buffet effectively summarized the relationship between ignorance and apathy with his famous saying “Is it ignorance or is it apathy? Hey, I don't know and I don't care.” How many people refuse to vote in the presidential election because they claim to not be represented well! It is easier to complain than it is to take responsibility, something which our species seems to have developed beyond any other attribute.

It is always easier to not care, to watch instead of interact. How many of us admire those who are athletic, talented, musically inclined, intelligent, happy, and successful? If we admire them, then we should do something about it! When was the last time you tried to write your own story? Run your own race? Build your own table? Make your own music? As a great man once said, clear water runs on while still water becomes stagnant. Apathy and ignorance seems to be the best method of becoming stagnant, whereas taking responsibility and a little initiative may shake us up a bit but eventually filters out the gold which can make our lives priceless.

Tiempo de lluvia

Rain seems to be seeping into my very brain today; I ended up skipping my last three hours of class after what seemed to be an eternity of constant zoning in and out of the professors' lectures. Instead, I have been laboring away on a few term projects which will be due in the next several days. I sometimes feel like school is no different from a person spending years learning Japanese nouns. After they finish, he travels to Japan and is shocked to realize that he cannot communicate even the simplest of ideas, because he has learned no verbs or other parts of grammar. In other words, I spend hundreds of hours each semester learning material which would be useful if I was in a position to apply it, but in my present position I find myself forgetting everything very quickly.
The only thing of which the man has to boast is that he spent hours and hours memorizing nouns, and if he ever gets far enough to learn the grammar then he will be superior to others who have not learned the nouns. That is why we have certificates, diplomas, etc. They serve the purpose of demonstrating to our peers and prospective employers that we, though we may not understand very many things, have at least the work ethic necessary to learn how to connect the information we spent years acquiring.
I am boring even myself with what I am writing today. Last night, the bishopric paid us a visit; they sat on our extremely low and sinky couch, sliding down until their knees seemed nearly level with their faces. I could hardly keep myself from laughing at them during our conversation; nothing is as uncomfortable as sitting knees-up in a business suit. Stephanie, as soon as they had knocked, fled for the back bedroom to get dressed (she had been relaxing in her underwear) while I answered the door. It was a fun time, and Taylor (the second counselor to the bishop) invited me to go fishing with him and his father later this week, mostly because Taylor hates fishing and doesn't enjoy the idea of being stuck alone with his fanatical fly-fisherman father for very long; he needs an excuse to escape after a couple of hours.
Well, this is all I will write today. Chao.

Introduction

Today, I resolved to try something new. I feel like an old piano whose keys have lost their tone, and there must be something done so that I can regain a little bit of my original sound. I start blogging today in the hopes that perhaps I will be able to reach into the pile of my thoughts and grab ahold of something which may make a little more sense to myself than the muggy objects which seem to always be sinking deeper into my mind, gone before I even recognize them for what they are. I have titled it Determinatio, as in the medieval scholastic method; its purpose will be to help me determine my own motivations, thoughts, and viewpoints.
And so, this blog has now begun. I will include poems, perhaps pictures, and random thoughts or occurrences as they seem appropriate. Any meaningful commentaries are very much appreciated. I am a new client to the world of blogging, and am not even sure that my blogs will be visible to others, but that is irrelevant in that I write for no one in particular besides myself. And so, I begin.